Wednesday, October 7, 2009

18 things men should know about women

I'm not sure where this orginially came from but I found it on LOTD and thought is was pretty funny - some of the comments in italics have been changed by me.

18 things to teach your sons about women

1. Pick your battles. (Argue what you know, not what you don’t know. The toilet seat is not a battle.)

2. Walk on the outside (closer to the street) of your female companion. (Or she will push you into traffic if you do not follow rule 1.)
3. Saying "You're being crazy" is never an appropriate response, unless you want her to go postal on you. ("Is it me who is crazy" is also not appropriate)

4. Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of kids are things men can actually do as well as women. (Do not let them know that or you will be doing it)

5. Keep backup supplies of quality chocolate in the house for her to raid. (And beer.)

6. Buying tampons and other feminine products shouldn't embarrass you --everyone knows they're not for you. (Actually, relish these moments because she is crazy at this point)

7. Women like compliments and gifts. (“You are really good with a crockpot” is not really either.)

8. Earning less than her shouldn't be emasculating. (Earning nothing should)

9. Be on time, even if she usually isn't. (And if she is always on time she may not be a girl; check first)

10. Don't be a pouty puppy when shopping with her. (Pouty is never good. Just avoid shopping altogether if you can.)

11. Find out what her favorite flower is. (And have them delivered to her at least once a year)

12. If you like her, then don't buy her shoes; it's bad luck. (Just give her the money and tell her to go buy herself some shoes)

13. Smiling and nodding aren't the same as listening. (There’ll be a quiz later)

14. It's OK to cry in front of her, but keep the blubbering to a minimum. (Actually, never use the word blubber in her company.)

15. Personality goes a long way. (And the lack of an ability to laugh at oneself is a deal killer.)

16. At some point she'll be more important than your mother. (And guess what? You’re grounded!)

17. You will never completely understand women. (Better to master calculus or compete in the Tour de France.)

18. Oh yeah, and no woman will ever be good enough for my baby. (I don't have a son but no one will ever be good enough for my baby girl so I get it) 

19. Understand this now. Just put the toilet seat down or somebody is going to drown

1 comment:

Samsmama said...

I thought the list was pretty good, so the direction that the comments took on LOTD really baffled my mind.